Time management
[00:00:00] Arivee: We all deserve to have fulfilling careers and lives. We deserve to experience joy, peace, and freedom— all of those things that make us feel truly alive.
[00:00:20] Arivee: It takes a lot of courage for us to take the reins in our lives and take action that honors the deepest parts of ourselves in this current season of life. It takes a lot of courage to lean into growing and learning and to know when it's time to make a change. I'm Adi V. I'm a first-generation Latina, mom of three, and a life and high-performance coach to women just like you.
[00:00:50] Arivee: And this podcast is for all of us looking to grow, learn, and explore what a joyful and fulfilling life and career can look like, and how to start living into that life right now. We're going to go deep, and we're going to honor our truth in this podcast. And the best thing is we're going to do it together.
[00:01:13] Arivee: So welcome to the Humble Rising Podcast.
[00:01:23] Arivee: Many of my clients come to me about, you guessed it, time constraints. They feel they don't have enough time in the day to do all they have to do between work, taking care of themselves, and all their other commitments, whether that's children, which we know is a major responsibility, or caregiving for a parent, which is very similar in terms of the space that it can take up in your life, or commitments that you have to other relationships, be it family, friends, your colleagues, professional networks, or relationships in the community. They often feel short on time, constrained by time, and it makes them feel like they're treading water or they're on a treadmill and they can't get off and they can't take care of themselves first, plus take care of all their other responsibilities. So I'm going to let you in on one of the key exercises that I use with my coaching clients when it comes to tackling this perception of not having enough time. I use the word "perception" intentionally here because every single one of my clients with this issue also was able to carve out the time to take care of themselves and to take care of all their other responsibilities they had when they were working with me and after they were working with me. It was their perception of time and their perception of the amount of self-agency and sphere of control they had over their time that was really the issue because all of that had to shift and for them, it actually did shift. The exercise that I'm going to share with you is all about identifying and understanding your core values. Now, let me share why core values are so critical to everything, not just creating more freedom of time for yourself.
[00:03:30] Core values reflect what matters most to you. They reflect your beliefs. Think of them as the principles that you live by. These are principles that guide how you make decisions, how you live, and how you interact. Studies show that women who prioritize their core values tend to have a stronger sense of purpose and meaning in life and are more likely to engage in behaviors consistent with their values. This can lead to higher self-esteem and a feeling of more personal agency and actually the ability to exercise that personal agency, which can lead to improved well-being and improved mental health. And get this, research studies show that identifying and aligning with your core values can help mitigate and prevent burnout.
[00:04:24] Yes, it can mitigate and prevent burnout. When people are clear about their core values and incorporate them into their work, it provides a sense of meaning and of purpose, and the studies are showing that having a sense of purpose that you feel connected to in terms of your values, and you can see how your work aligns with those values, you're more likely to experience and feel a sense of fulfillment and motivation in your work, which reduces the risk of burnout. Now, remember how I mentioned that values help guide your decisions? Well, here's the research again, people. The research shows that core values not only serve as a guide for decision-making but also for setting boundaries. That's a big word, boundaries. We talk a lot about boundaries, but when you're aware of your values, you can make choices that align with those values and you prioritize activities that are in line with your beliefs and your priorities. This helps in terms of managing your workload, saying no to things, whether that's people, tasks, events, people's asks of you that are not aligned with your values, and you can set realistic boundaries to protect your well-being because you know exactly what you need to be focusing on. You know exactly the decisions that you're making and how you're making those decisions. The values provide a lens through which you make those decisions. So it provides a lens through which you would decide, do I say yes or do I say no to that thing? By aligning your actions with your values and your decisions with your values, you prevent over-committing yourself and the resulting burnout that can arise from that.
[00:06:12]And that's not all. I got research for days, people. The research also shows, because I know you evidence-based folks, you're like me, data-driven. Research also shows that if you have a strong connection to your values, you're better equipped to handle stress. You're better able to cope with stress and handle challenging situations. So when you're faced with a lot of stress or a demanding work environment, if you align your actions and your behavior with your values, you're more likely to persevere, maintain your sense of purpose, and find meaning in your work. This can be a buffer against burnout because you're reducing the negative impact of stress that you may experience, that we frankly all experience at some point at work. Note though, I want to make this really clear. Toxicity will never be aligned with your values. So do not confuse a challenging and stressful work environment or manager with a toxic one. Those are two very different things. You should not be in a toxic work environment full stop, period. Okay. I just want to be really clear about that.
[00:07:16] Lastly, By understanding your core values, you can prioritize the activities and commitments outside of work that actually align with them. So you can narrow down which ones actually truly align with your core values, and then you're going to stick to those and say no to the rest. The research shows that when you're able to devote time and energy to the activities and to the relationships that are most important to you, it contributes to your overall well-being and reduces the likelihood of burning out.
[00:07:46] Now, you might be thinking, "Oh, that's great. Adi, all the research shows I need to identify and understand my core values. I get it. But how do I do that?" I got you. I'm going to walk you through the exercise I mentioned earlier in this episode. It's simple. It is actually very simple. There are three steps to it, but it does require your introspection and it requires you to take some space and time to complete the exercise.
[00:08:15] Arivee: So before I walk you through it, I want you to go to the description of this episode. So click on this episode and then you may have to double-click to see all of the content, but scroll down to see the description of the episode on whichever platform you're on. Scroll down, and you will see a link to access a PDF that accompanies this episode. The PDF will help because it lists.
[00:08:42] Arivee: A ton of values that you can choose from and contains the instructions for this exercise that I will walk you through. In the event that you want to do this with other people like colleagues, family, friends, or your team. You can pause me now, press pause and grab that PDF, then come back to me. [00:09:00] Okay. Are you ready?
[00:09:01] Arivee: The first step is to identify values that resonate most with you. So what are those? Values that you're going to choose from. So the list I have on the PDF and the list I'm going to read out to you right now is not an exhaustive list, but these are the most common ones that I've identified. So you may have one that isn't on this list, but this is really to give you a sense of a ton of values that you could choose from.
[00:09:31] Arivee: So here they are. If you are listening to this and you don't have the PDF in front of you, just listen and write down the words that resonate most with you. If you have the PDF in front of you, circle the values that resonate most with you. Okay, here they are: Love, gratitude, joy, truth, kindness, hope, compassion, service, community, [00:10:00] teaching, learning, curiosity, openness.
[00:10:05] Arivee: Growth. Humility. Authenticity. Courage. Collaboration. Perseverance. Achievement. Honesty. Forgiveness. Wisdom. Trust. Integrity. Reliability. Responsibility. Respect. Belonging. Diversity. Inclusion. Dignity. Future generations. Equity. Fairness. Justice. Creativity. Independence. Efficiency. Environment. Freedom. Fun.
[00:10:45] Arivee: Understanding. Vulnerability. Health. Optimism. Financial stability. Job security. Making a difference. Recognition. Legacy. Self [00:11:00] expression. Efficiency. Culture. Power. Knowledge. Order. Organization. Wealth. Advocacy. Ambition. Well-being. Self-care. Personal fulfillment. Giving back. Peace. Humor. Faith. Excellence.
[00:11:20] Arivee: Patience, contribution, success, spirituality, loyalty, generosity, nature, caring, travel, friendship, leadership. Now, I read those slowly because if you're listening, I wanted you to have the chance to write them down if you don't have the PDF in front of you. Because you were listening for 10 values that resonate most with you.
[00:11:48] Arivee: If with the PDF, you are or should have been circling the 10 values that [00:12:00] resonate the most with you. Now, you may notice that some of the values that you circled or that you wrote down overlap with each other. This is because wording and language are really crucial. One word may not resonate as much as another.
[00:12:11] Arivee: So for some people, when they think of emotional and mental, they actually may not think of health. The word health, they may think of health as more physical health, and so maybe they choose the word well-being to represent emotional and mental health. That's what I, I choose, like one of my core values is self-care or well-being, right?
[00:12:31] Arivee: For me, I really resonate with the word self-care. It hits me differently. It hits me harder. It hits me into my core. So I resonate more with the word self-care versus well-being or health. But some of you may resonate more with well-being or health, depending on your perspective and how you're feeling.
[00:12:49] Arivee: So focus on choosing the value with the wording that speaks to you. You need to be able to fully connect with and own your values, including how they are worded. Now, the [00:13:00] second step is to review your list of 10 and make any changes. So you're going to review the 10 values that you circled or you wrote down and think about how you feel. How do you feel about them? Make any changes. Don't overthink this, though, right? Don't ruminate. Don't spend, don't spend an hour doing this. Come on. We don't want to overthink. Pause this episode to review your list. Make any changes and then come back to me. Okay. Ready for step three.
[00:13:28] Arivee: Step three is to cull your list to five values. I know we got to keep culling. Okay. Yes. Cull your list of five values. To do that, you're going to look at your list of 10. Right. If you revised the list because of step two, when you reviewed the list of 10 and then made any changes, you're going to cull your list to five values.
[00:13:50] Arivee: And you're going to ask yourself, are these values truly mine or do they represent what is expected of me? There is no judgment here. [00:14:00] Okay. No one is going to look at your list. My friend, this is only for you. This is for your own eyes. It's for your own awareness, your own exploration. Do not censor yourself here.
[00:14:13] Arivee: When you're trying to dig deeper into your own truth, it does you no service to lie to yourself or to try to distract yourself or to try to think of what others will think. That doesn't matter. This is just you. This is just you, you with you. You may also want to ask yourself, do these values define who I am? Even if I'm not fully aligned with them in this season or this stage of my life. Okay. You can pause me again while you cull your list of 10 to five core values, but come back. Okay. And again, don't overthink it. But spend some time doing that. And when you're done, that's step three. There were three steps to this exercise, right? You're done with that. I [00:15:00] want you to celebrate that you did this exercise because most people don't ever do this. They don't sit down and take the time to even think about what they believe and what they want to guide their decisions. Interactions and how they want to live their life, but you're doing it. So hats off to you. And you're probably like, this is not a big deal. It is a big deal. Trust me. Most people do not do this. This is important. Now, there are a few more steps to this values-based exercise, but you just completed a huge part of the work. So I'm giving you, I'm clapping it up for you over here, clapping it up for you over here. When you're clear about your core values, you will make better decisions that align with your beliefs. You'll be able to prioritize the things and the people that bring you joy and fulfillment, the things that lead to more sanity and less chaos in this season of your life, you're less likely to be
[00:16:00] lured by distractions or temporary emotions that pull you away from what's most important. You'll know how to focus your attention, your time, your energy, and resources on the people and activities that matter. You become more confident that you're living life authentically and with integrity, with congruence, even when you're navigating difficult life decisions, challenges, and you're coping with stress, which inevitably will come.
[00:16:27] Arivee: So in next week's episode, I'm going to share what you have to do next with this list of five core values. And yes, it has to do with prioritization. I'm obsessed with prioritization, especially prioritizing your self-care, because I don't believe we can pour from empty cups or empty buckets. And when we do that, when we pour from empty buckets and we haven't recharged and haven't taken time for ourselves, you know what happens?
[00:16:57] Arivee: You know it. You experience it. You have a [00:17:00] short fuse. You get impatient. And let's be real, you get stressed and overwhelmed and you feel exhausted. No more of that. There is a better way. I am telling you. I've seen it firsthand. I've experienced it firsthand. It's possible to feel so freaking good about your life, including the day-to-day.
[00:17:17] Arivee: But we'll delve deeper into that and into all this prioritization based on your core values in the next episode. So I'll talk to you then.
[00:17:38] Arivee: If you're a woman lawyer or a woman working in other fast-paced corporate environments, and you're looking to feel less overwhelmed and unsure, and more empowered and fulfilled in your career and your personal life, join my Women Empowering Women email community by going to ariveevargas.com to sign up.
[00:18:00] Arivee: Or you can click the link in the notes of this episode. Don't forget to also grab my five-step guide on how to get clarity on what needs to change to feel good about your life in this season and how to make that change happen. You can get it at adivivargas.com or scroll down in the notes to this episode and click on the link.
[00:18:25] Arivee: Finally, if you're loving these episodes, spread that love by reviewing and rating this podcast so we can get more women feeling heard, feeling seen, inspired, and empowered. Until then, remember that you have way more power than you can imagine to create the change you want and deserve in your life. To live a life you feel good about.
[00:18:53] Arivee: You're powerful now, so harness it. Now is your time.
