Honoring our truth

[00:00:00] Arivee (2): We all deserve to have fulfilling careers and lives. We deserve to experience joy and peace, and freedom and all of those things that make us feel truly alive.

[00:00:20] Arivee (2): It takes a lot of courage for us to take the reins in our lives and take action that honors the deepest parts of ourselves in this current season of life, it takes a lot of courage to lean into growing and to lean into learning, and to know when it's time to make a change. I'm Arivee. I'm a first-generation, Latina mom of three, and life and high-performance coach to women just like you in this podcast.

[00:00:51] Arivee (2): Is for all of us looking to grow and learn and explore what a joyful and fulfilling life and [00:01:00] career can look like and how to start living into that life right now. We're going to go deep and we're going to honor our truth in this podcast, and the best thing is we're gonna do it together. So welcome to the Humble Rising podcast.

[00:01:22] Arivee (2): Happy New Year. It's a new year. It's a new day. And come on. You know, you feeling good like Nina, Simone, you're feeling good. You know that we always set an intention or word for the year in January of each year we do this before we set goals or anything like that. Setting an intention or or word of the year is a powerful tool for personal growth, for goal setting, and the routines and the habits that you'll want to bring with you.

[00:01:57] Arivee (2): Change or create in 2024 [00:02:00] and setting this word of the year. This intention really does start priming your brain for any goals that you're gonna set and for what you want to create and cultivate in 2024. Now, when I say intention, I mean the DICTIONARY'S definition, which is to direct the mind on and a determination to act in a certain way.

[00:02:26] Arivee (2): Now, to me, this really allows us to focus our energy and our actions towards a specific guiding principle for the year. You're directing your mind on, that's where you're gonna focus your energy and your attention, and there's a determination to act in a certain way. So your actions are going to reflect that, focus on that guiding principle for this year.

[00:02:54] Arivee (2): Now, how do you pick a guiding principle for you for the year? How do you do this? [00:03:00] The word or the phrase you'll use to anchor yourself? This is what that guiding principle is. It's the word of the phrase you're going to use as your lens through which you look at situation that you come into in 2024.

[00:03:16] Arivee (2): It's how you are going to direct your mind. It is how you will act. Remember the definition of intention to direct the mind on, and a determination to act in a certain way, right where you're focusing your energy. What are your actions? Because we cannot think our way out of our emotions. We can't think our way into feeling a certain way.

[00:03:41] Arivee (2): A lot of people will ask me, how do you feel confident? How do you feel? Inner peace? How do you feel? Fill in the blank. I always say, well, we are very logical beings and we often try to [00:04:00] apply. Logic to try to feel something or stop feeling something, and it doesn't work like that, right? We have thoughts, we have feelings, we have actions.

[00:04:10] Arivee (2): We have habits. We have patterns. You won't feel anything different until you act differently. You can think from here to think about the furthest place in the world from where you are. You can think and you can analyze and you can assess, and you can read a thousand books and you can talk, talk, talk about all what you think.

[00:04:34] Arivee (2): And a lot of times how this comes through is people will say, no, I know that. I know that I do this. I know why. I know this or that, but I don't feel different. I'm like, you're not going to feel different until you act differently. The reason why that's true is because your entire mind, body, and spirit will experience that different action over and over, and as it [00:05:00] does 'cause you're doing something different and you're engaging something other than your brain or in addition to your brain, then you won't be asking me how to embody a feeling.

[00:05:11] Arivee (2): Because you've had the experience so many times through repetitive action that you know exactly what it feels like. You won't even ask the question because you've already, you've been doing some of the work to feel differently, and that's through experience and through action. Part of why I love choosing a word of the year is because it again, is an opportunity and an invitation to explore what is deeply important to us.

[00:05:36] Arivee (2): It allows the opportunity to reflect on our values and our priorities, and maybe for you, that's relationships, personal or professional growth. Learning health, well-being family, or maybe it's about personal values like growth, compassion, kindness, justice, fairness. So this is what I want you to try. Now, if you're [00:06:00] listening to this episode in the car, pay attention to the road though do not, don't do, do focus, focus on the road.

[00:06:07] Arivee (2): You'll we'll have to wait until you park and you're in a space where you can write some of this stuff down. So for now, you can just listen. Okay. Now, if you're in a place and head space to reflect, I want you to think about what truly matters to you. Now, if you're in the car, you can honestly think about this too, but when it comes to the act of writing down, I want you to stay safe.

[00:06:27] Arivee (2): That's why I'm telling you not to do the writing while you're driving, but I want you to think about what truly matters to you. What do you want to focus on in the coming year that truly matters to you? That is critical. That is super important to you. Maybe for you. It's personal, like feeling more energized, more vibrant, more quality time with each of your children, or more time with yourself.

[00:06:54] Arivee (2): One-on-one and really taking care of yourself. Maybe you want to have less stress, more [00:07:00

] inner peace. Maybe it's deep connection with friends or family or in the professional realm. Maybe you're aiming for an extension of your role at work, a promotion. You wanna change roles, you wanna switch jobs, you wanna switch careers, you want to lead an exciting new project.

[00:07:18] Arivee (2): Or maybe it's about really stepping into the leader you wanna be for your team. It could be any other area you want to improve or any area you want to further cultivate this year. The question is, where do you want and need to focus your energy? What do you most want to cultivate now from the things you just wrote down?

[00:07:38] Arivee (2): Identify a theme or guiding principle among those, like what is the theme? What is a guiding principle that is bubbling up that you're seeing? This is going to be a single word or phrase that embodies what you want to bring into your life and work in 2024. Choose a word that deeply resonates with you.

[00:07:58] Arivee (2): This has to, you gotta [00:08:00] feel this in your bones, people. Okay. Pick a word that really resonates with you, that you steal in your bones. It has to be on point. It has to be really meaningful, or you're, it's just not gonna work. And you know, your spirit knows when it's aligned and when it's not. So don't, don't lie to yourself.

[00:08:18] Arivee (2): Right? The worst lies and lines to tell ourselves. Right? So here are some words you may think about depending on what you've already written down. This is not obviously an exhaustive list, but these are the ones I see the most. And also these are ones that I've used in the past too and I've seen others use.

[00:08:35] Arivee (2): So maybe the word is calm, adventure, peace, ease, replenish, rejuvenate, exploration, discovery, excellence, change, abundance, courage, love, renewal, joy. Gratitude, aliveness, meaning growth [00:09:00] space, deep connection. If any of those words really resonate with you, that could be your word right now.

[00:09:14] Arivee (2): The third thing we're going to do, now that you have your word and you can feel free to pause me when you need to. I'll be here. The third thing we're going to do is we're going to set some routines, some habits and tasks around the word of the Year. I know I just said that, and most of you're like, oh my gosh. Habits, routines, tasks. It's too much. It's too overwhelming. Okay, let me break this down for you. I know that sounds overwhelming, but let me simplify this.

[00:09:34] Arivee (2): I picked as super simple. Habits are routines that have become automatic. They become automatic because you've done them so many times. Your brain has created space to do other new things by making it automatic so your brain doesn't have to work that hard to get you to do that. Like brushing your teeth in the morning, like you grab your toothbrush, you put the toothpaste on the toothbrush, and you put the toothbrush in your mouth.

[00:09:57] Arivee (2): That's an automatic thing I hope for you. [00:10:00] Okay. Tasks are a set of actions. That's all that they are. It's things you do. So our routines, routines are things that you do. They are a set of actions, but they are just set at specific times for specific purposes. All of that is to say that when I'm talking about routines, and I'm talking about habits and tasks, I'm talking about actions, people.

[00:10:29] Arivee (2): That's it. Actions. They just are a little different, right? Routines, habits, tasks I just explained are just a little different, but at the end of the day, they're all about action. So we know we need to make sure that we have the right focus, and which is really your, your mindset and what are you going to be doing to make your word real?

[00:10:52] Arivee (2): What are the actions you are going to take to make your word real in your life? You have to [00:11:00] implement the word. That mindset with action, you will feel differently with action, you will have a different experience With action, you will experience a different reality with action. Mindset plus action, your intention plus action, right?

[00:11:17] Arivee (2): So how can we embody this word in our everyday lives? If your word is health, for example, health is so broad. It could be physical health, it could be, you could be like, no, my whole mind, body, spirit, everything. Okay. But what does that tangibly, concretely look like for you? If you had to explain it to someone, how would you describe that word, health in terms of what it would look like for you personally?

[00:11:43] Arivee (2): It won't look like what it would look like for me. It's going to be different. 'cause everybody is a different person, has different circumstances, has different resources, has different experiences, have different backgrounds. So it's not going to look like what health [00:12:00] means to someone else, is not gonna be the same as what it means to you.

[00:12:03] Arivee (2): But, so for example, if it's health, then you wanna think about and write down what are the actions you're going to take. That will be different this year if health involves for you. Movement and eating nourishing food. How are you gonna ensure that you move, for example, five times a week for at least 20 minutes?

[00:12:21] Arivee (2): How will you ensure you're eating nourishing food and setting yourself up for success when it comes to getting home late and you're like, oh gosh, I don't wanna cook. How can you ensure you're eating the nourishing food that you say you want to eat? Again, if that's within the area of help that you're thinking about, if it's mental health, how are you gonna take care?

[00:12:40] Arivee (2): Of that in a practical way this year, each day or once a month, whatever it is for you, whatever cadence is going to work for your life, how will you set yourself up for success and ensure that you hold yourself accountable in a very loving, kind, self-compassionate way. What could become a challenge for you in this [00:13:00] area, and how can you prepare now for that challenge and come up with potential solutions in advance?

[00:13:06] Arivee (2): Right? So again, we're talking about the big health area. You have to figure out what it looks like for you for that to be optimal. What does that look like for you? And what are you gonna put in place to make sure you get there? How are you gonna have to set yourself up for success? How are you going to think through the challenges and obstacles that are may, may come your way and plan for those in advance.

[00:13:25] Arivee (2): Something to also think about in terms of actions is also what is in and what is out for that area. So for health, it could be what is in is. Movement every day for 20 minutes except the weekends, or maybe it's movement for three days for 40 minutes. I don't know what it's for you, but I'm making this up as I go.

[00:13:46] Arivee (2): Maybe that's in right. What's out is alcohol every day. What's out is alcohol three times a week. What is out is eating dessert every day. What is out is [00:14:00] not scheduling the time to move my body. That's out. What's in is scudging the time and blocking off my calendar so you can make these lists of like what's in and out for 2024 to make those actions more real or to give yourself some more brainstorming space to think about what actions would help you with making your word real this year.

[00:14:23] Arivee (2): If your word is self-care, or your phrase is self-care. You're gonna wanna get clarity around exactly what that looks like for you in your life. People talk about self-care in a lot of different ways. I talk about self-care very specifically. It is not only about temporary pleasures of a manicure and a pedicure and a massage and those things, which I think are super important to me.

[00:14:46] Arivee (2): That's more about really getting the space, creating the space for yourself. To think, to feel, to reflect, to be honest with yourselves in terms of your thoughts, your feelings, your patterns, [00:15:00] your actions, who you wanna be, who you wanna become, if you're aligned with who you wanna be and who you wanna become.

[00:15:06] Arivee (2): If you are pursuing meaningful things in your life, if you're feeling alive, and what you're gonna do to change, whatever is not working for you. And how are you gonna create more space for yourself? Self-care to me also means I'm the manicure. I mean, have you seen my nails? If you have not seen my nails on video, you must seen them.

[00:15:25] Arivee (2): I love a good set of nails. I love massages. I love going outside. I love hikes. I love doing all of those things. Those are really important for self-care. They're, they're pleasurable. And, and I could give you all the research on why walking outside in nature is a de-stressor and why it's so important for your brain and for your body and your spirit, in addition to just getting outside is a great thing, right?

[00:15:47] Arivee (2): But for you, what does self-care mean? Self-care may not mean journaling to you. It means that to me. Like I journal a lot because I got a lot to say and I love to get stuff outta my [00:16:00] brain onto the paper. No judgment, no censor. Nobody gonna ask me, what does that mean? I don't need that. I just want to express myself and get it out of my body and my spirit and my mind on paper.

[00:16:12] Arivee (2): That is very therapeutic and cathartic for me, but it may not be that way for you. Some people, they like to process in person verbally, and that's all good. Just get clear on what the word means for you. So if it's self-care, what does that mean exactly? How does it look like in your life at this stage in your life?

[00:16:33] Arivee (2): What are the actions you're going to take to ensure that you practice that self-care? And you embody that word each day? It could be, I'm going to give myself a wellness hour every day. A wellness 30 minutes every day, which means that I'm not scheduling meetings at that time and I'm doing a meditation.

[00:16:52] Arivee (2): I'm just walking around my house thinking, I'm walking around the office thinking, whatever it is for you, what are you going to actually do each day to make [00:17:00] this word self-care real, and embody this and feel differently? What routines can you introduce into your daily life or once a week or once a month?

[00:17:09] Arivee (2): And then you can use that same exercise I mentioned earlier. What's in and what's out in terms of self-care for 2024? What's in is I'm gonna schedule time for self-care. Every day I'm gonna schedule some mental space for myself. I don't have to talk to anybody or deal with anything that's 30 minutes every single day.

[00:17:27] Arivee (2): I've scheduled it. I've prepared myself. I've set myself up for success to make sure that that 30 minutes happened every single day. That's in. What's Out is handling last-minute non-urgent requests. What's out? Is putting other people before myself. And then you're gonna write down how you used to do that in twenty-twenty-three, and how you're not gonna do that again in twenty-twenty-four.

[00:17:49] Arivee (2): You're gonna make it concrete. You have to. You have to. You're just gonna repeat the same thing over and over again. Okay? Now the last thing we're going to do is, and this is the fun part. I mean, [00:18:00] this part was fun already, but this is the really fun part because you've done the work and now all you have to do is write down your word on a sticky note or your phrase.

[00:18:09] Arivee (2): Right. If your phrase is self-care, or it's adventure, or it's aliveness, a more alive passion in your life, right? You're gonna write down that word on a sticky note or a card or a whiteboard, and you're gonna put it somewhere where you see it every day. You could use multiple ones. I sometimes, I put a sticky on my laptop.

[00:18:30] Arivee (2): I have a sticky note app that you can actually do that on your desktop, so that's really cool. Or use a physical sticky note or physical index card and put it on your desk. You can put it in a frame and hang it up where you can see it every day. I don't know, a whiteboard, whatever you need to do to make sure you write down that word and you put it up in a place where you'll see it every single day.

[00:18:51] Arivee (2): That's what's important. You could even, uh, put it on your home screen, on your phone. Again to so you see it daily. This is important. Research [00:19:00] shows that when you write things down, those things are reminders for you. Your brain will remember it more and brings you more clarity. It brings you more focus, and you're more likely to achieve the things that are on that, that sheet or that sticky note.

[00:19:12] Arivee (2): You need to be reminded of your word of the year, your intention, daily. We all need the reminder. It's not just you. Everybody needs it. It's like a re-centering, re-anchoring point, right? You're going about your day and you're like, oh, right. That was my intention for the year. That's my intention for the day.

[00:19:32] Arivee (2): And you are reminded, and it just re-centers you very quickly because you see it. You've made it visible to yourself. You have decided you want to be reminded of it every day. And before you put these sticky notes up, or you put these words up, wherever you're gonna put them. Again, so you'll actually see them every day when you're writing this word down, and if you write it down repeatedly on different things, that's great, but you don't have to do that.

[00:19:54] Arivee (2): You could just do it on one sticky note, that's fine, as long as you'll see it every day. I want you to [00:20:00] visualize yourself living out that intention. Visualize what it would feel like, look like, smell like, sound like user senses, to live out this intention and achieving it for yourself this year. That visualization that that just like two or three minutes to close your eyes and actually visualize yourself doing the thing.

[00:20:26] Arivee (2): And again, it's gonna be doing the things that you said you were gonna do previously as we wrote all these things down, right? The actions part, that's what you're gonna be visualizing. But doing that visualization will help keep you focused and disciplined. It's also gonna help you remain accountable to yourself.

[00:20:44] Arivee (2): It's gonna allow you to remind yourself of why this is important to you and why you're doing this. So with that, I want to wish you a freaking amazing 2024. I [00:21:00] want you to step into the best version of you in 2024 that you've ever experienced or felt. I want your 2024 to be your epic year, and I'm gonna be right alongside you.

[00:21:12] Arivee (2): I am going to be in the trenches with you. I am going to be in the triumphs with you. I'm going to be

celebrating your successes, and we're going to be learning from our mistakes and learning from different things that don't go our way, that don't go in accordance with our expectations, and that's all okay?

[00:21:30] Arivee (2): But we're still gonna have in Epic 20 twenty-four. So I wanna wish you an amazing year, and I'm so grateful. You continue to allow me to share with you and to teach you and to be a part of your life, and I'm looking forward to doing that so, so much more in 2024.[00:22:00]

[00:22:17] Arivee (2): If you are a woman lawyer or a woman working in other fast-paced corporate environments, and you're looking to feel less overwhelmed and unsure and more empowered and fulfilled in your career and your personal life. Join my Women Empowering Women email community by going to adavivargas.com to sign up, or you can click the link in the note of this episode.

[00:22:45] Arivee (2): Don't forget to also grab my five-step guide on how to get clarity on what needs to change to feel good about your life in this season, and how to make that change happen. You can get [00:23:00] it at ariveevargas.com or Scroll down in the notes to this episode and click on the link. Finally, if you're loving these episodes, spread that love by reviewing and rating this podcast so we can get more women feeling heard, feeling seen, inspired, and empowered.

[00:23:18] Arivee (2): Until then, remember that you have way more power than you can imagine to create the change you want and deserve in your life to live. A life you feel good about. You're powerful now. So harness it now is your time.