Life lessons and laughs
I recently went skiing for the first time. (I took a lesson over 30 years ago so that doesn't count).
I had decided to go out there and give it a go without a lesson. It was not the best decision.
I fell at least 10 times. There was no grace in those falls. Skis and legs up. I didn't yet know how to get up without having to take one boot out of the ski first. Sometimes I'd get up just to fall right back down.
It took me a solid 15 minutes to get down the bigger bunny slope because I fell so much. As soon as I thought I was going too fast, I'd lose control and fall.
I laughed hard each time, thinking how ridiculous it was for me to not have done the lesson. I thought to myself: These kids are flying down these trails, and I'm struggling to go 4 feet down this bunny slope. How ridiculous that I'm trying something like this.
My daughter's ski instructor (because yes, I had her take a lesson) came over to help me up at one point.
But I had fun, falls and all.
I understood that this was part of the deal when you're doing something new. You're going to fall. It might hurt. You'll have some bumps and bruises and you're going to get back up and try again.
The next day, I made a better decision. I had a one-and-a-half-hour lesson with a 30-year veteran ski instructor. I told him how it went the day before.
He said, "The most important thing is your mindset. We have to get you over the fear of going too fast and get you in control. And you have a positive attitude which is half the battle."
So during the first 30 minutes of our lesson, I worked on one thing: control.
Controlling my speed.
Controlling my movement.
I practiced stopping, and slowing down.
Once I got my mind and body to that point, we worked on turns. Again, I worked on control.
Controlling putting weight on the right leg to turn left and putting weight on my left leg to turn right.
The other person with me taking the lesson was in his early 20s, and used to ski down Black Diamond trails three years before. He said his mother forced him to take a lesson to ensure he still had it. Well, he did.
And he and the ski instructor became my supporters. When I did something well, they both encouraged me.
After my instructor saw I could turn with control, we hit the trails. The green ones of course. These are the easiest trails, but were still challenging for me.
I worked on making sure I kept my eyes up and on the trail ahead, instead of down at my skis or right in front of me.
I had to make sure I was not leaning backwards when I picked up speed, to maintain control. If I leaned backwards, I'd lost control and fall.
I focused on leaning forward, and telling my body where I wanted it to go.
I practiced right and left turns over and over.
I fell a few times.
And I got better and better.
I slowly felt more comfortable. As soon as the fear kicked in, I put my attention back to my form.
By the end of the day, I was with my dear friend and our older kids skiing down the green trails.
That was progress.
It was much easier to feel proud of that progress when I compared myself to where I was the day before, rather than comparing myself to the kids flying down a Black or Double Black trail (which is so amazing to see)!
If I compared myself to where I thought I could or should be, I would have lost that feeling of accomplishment - however small. I would have forgotten how important it is to see every step as progress.
We too often forget how far we've come in a period of time, because we're too focused on not being even further along.
But this first-time skiing experience meant more to me than I could have anticipated. It came at such a critical point in my life, as I gear up for a big career transition that will require a new version of me.
The experience served as a reminder of these vital life lessons:
Your mindset is powerful, get your mind right and you can learn and do almost anything.
Your fears can't be eliminated, but they can be managed. Summon the courage to move forward despite your fear. Don't give fear so much power over what you do.
Lean into what you want and move towards where you want to go. Don’t lean back when you really want to move forward.
Know when you need to slow down, pause, speed up, and break hard. Different days, weeks, months, and years require pacing. Knowing when it’s necessary to change the pace will help you resent and resist the moment less and move forward with more clarity instead. And every step forward is progress.
You will learn faster with supportive people around you and ahead of you. You need people who will challenge you to grow, cheer you on, and guide you. You don’t have to do anything on your own.
When I asked my instructor when skiers should stop taking lessons, he said, "There's always something new to learn or improve. Until you're at an expert level skiing Black Diamonds with poles, everyone should still take a lesson at the start of the season."
The learning never ends. We might just have to embrace it a bit more each day.
Always rooting for you,
Arivee
P.S. If you're looking for real talk and actionable strategies and tools on living and working with more fulfillment, alignment and joy, join my women-empowering-women email community here: https://artisanal-architect-3959.ck.page/65f0b66920
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